"Close your bodily eye, that you may see your    picture first with the eye of the spirit."

In the last ten days, I have taken at least 10,000 pictures. I know that sounds like a lot but in all actually it's not for me. I have pictures of farms, animals, lakes, rivers , sailing, people I love, my son's tennis tournament, my granddaughter visiting me on the farm  and all the beautiful things that live in these places.

One morning, I am on the farm walking past the deer and I see movement in the fields and I just wait. I can feel their presence and I know they feel mind. I can't see them clearly but I take pictures where I feel their energy. Later, on a large monitor, I see them. I can't even begin to tell you how much they effect me in a spiritual way...they are the angels of the field...

As I pass them , I head down to where the horses cross the creek. I want to be there when they do this. They are all in line, walking into a new day. I do video work as well and sometimes I sit in the creek, down a bit and catch them from the side, through the bushes. It is not unusual for me to come back to the cottage , soaking wet and full of mud.

Another morning, I am on the lake on the farm, filming the herons, geese and ducks...then

another early morning I am on a sailboat with my friends from Holland, Bernard and Annelies and we want to sail into the path the sun rolls out...

Another morning, I am in a kayak. with my friend Dan in front of me, guiding me to the mysteries of the great river, photographing swans, hawks, Blue Herons ....

These pictures were taken by Dan. I know it seems strange to be talking on a cell phone early in the morning in a kayak on the river but a couple of my five children wake up early and they love to call me and see what I am doing. It is not unusual for me to say any of these answers:

I am on the river kayaking.

I am following the sheep in the pasture.

I am sitting in the creek, waiting for the horses to cross.

I am riding in the woods. ( I have had to sell my horses so they don't hear that anymore but that was not an unusual answer back then.

I am sitting in a tree watching the Heron's nesting.

My children adore me for loving life and embracing it so tightly, I can actually squeeze the juice out it...or so it seems. They have the same passion. They were raised by a mother that pointed out all the wonder in this world.

The special hour is when the sun comes up. This is the time my eyes don't feel pain. For a few minutes, I can look at everything with my sunglasses off and the gentle wind kisses my eyes. If the wind is strong, it hurts but that gentle wind is my lover of my eyes.

With incredible anticipation, I am compelled to show up as if I were going to visit my mother. When the sun comes up, it feels as if she is peeking her head over the sheets and greeting me with that beautiful smile of hers. Even though she has been dead for over 15 years, the closest  feeling to being with her is when I stand there and watch the sun and feel it's warmth on my face. 

I need my mother right now and so I am running to her  like a panic. Next Tuesday I have my 11th eye operation and I wish I could say I feel courageous but I feel terrified. I don't want anymore operations!  Many of you have gone through them with me and you know when the time comes, I will do what I have to do in order not to lose my sight completely. If this operation is successful, I will be able to handle more light. Of course there is a risk and I could lose my sight completely but I am a natural risk taker when the result is a better life.

That's why I photograph early in the morning or the hours before sundown. As you know, I am light blind. Most blind people are light blind and that's why you see then wearing glasses. I always thought it was because they were trying to hide their eyes because they looked strange and scary but that's not true. I wear my sunglasses everywhere. Only in the early morning, do I not put them on. I think my  most beautiful photographs are taken in the magic hour of the morning and late evening. It is a nuisance to wear dark glasses and look through the lens of the camera and even then it's as if cellophane is over the lens. I have a highly developed instinct and it is that which tells me when to take the picture. I can FEEL a scene. I shoot down by the lake many mornings and I can tell the geese are in a certain pattern that is like a beautiful painting.

Just as I love to be surrounded by nature, I also love to be surround by the people who love me and have stayed on this path with me. So patient and always there with loving and affirming words. I just want to keep you up to date. All of you have your own personal challenges and we are all vulnerable to anything that can change our life. The important thing is that it doesn't change us and that we never give up. NEVER!!!

"When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world."  George Washington Carver

"The fishermen know that the sea is dangerous and the storm terrible, but they have never found these dangers sufficient reason for remaining on shore."

                                               Vincent Van Gogh

I love you!!!

always...Julieann. "Juicy" .

..always

P.S. By the time I post this blog, I will have had the operation. I didn't get to put all the pictures in when I wrote it so I saved it as a draft until a friend could help. I am recovering now. Other blogs will be posted that I saved as drafts as well.